Enhance Self-esteem
Self-esteem is how we value and perceive ourselves. This is internal to us, how we think of ourselves. However, those thoughts are affected by how others speak of us and treat us. You can affect someone else’s self-esteem. It’s our job as leaders to build others’ self-esteem up.
Recently, my family went through the emotional process of moving our parents out of the house, the home they had lived in for sixty-two years. We were relocating them to a senior living facility as they could no longer safely stay in their home. While preparing to sell the family home and sifting through the mountain of stuff that accumulated over sixty years, we found boxes of old photographs we had never seen before. Some of these photos were over one hundred years old.
There was a particular photo of my grandpa, William Mauritz Sr, taken circa 1930, sitting in a wood boat fishing. I love this picture as it tells such a great story. My grandpa was born in Neutal, Austria at the turn of the twentieth century and immigrated to the United States with his parents when he was very young. My grandpa loved to fish, and I have fond memories of him taking us grandkids fishing off a relative’s dock on Lake Butte des Morts.
This photograph reminds me how influential my grandpa was in my life. There is a soft presence displayed by the way he’s sitting, but confidence shown in his eyes and weathered face. He was humble and non-assuming. He only needed the basics to be successful. The simple bamboo fishing pole in hand and the half open coffee can sitting on the wooden boats floor that certainly was filled with angleworms he assuredly dug out of the ground that morning is reminiscent of simpler times.
When my friends and I would stop by my grandpa's house, he always had time for us and showed genuine interest. He would make sure we had something to eat and drink and then he would ask what we were up to. He wanted to know what we were excited about and what concerns we had. He always kept an open ear to hear us – he truly cared for us and what we were saying. He would listen to us and give us any advice we might have been seeking.
My grandpa was boosting our self-esteem by making us feel important and showing true interest - in us. He showed genuine interest in who we were and what we were doing. He was silently telling us that we mattered.
What do you do to boost others’ self-esteem? Do you spend more time building up people? How we speak and treat others does affect their self-esteem. These are things we can do to build self-esteem in others:
• Spend quality time with others.
o Be there in the moment. Put everything else aside and truly be there for that person. By setting time aside, you are saying that person is important.
• Be a good active listener.
o Clear your mind and listen to their stories; save your stories for another time. Don’t assume they are asking you to solve a problem. Listen to what they are saying.
• Be actively engaged.
o Ask questions to stay engaged and better understand. By asking questions you show interest in what is being said and that you want to better understand what they are telling you.
• Point out good character traits.
o Give a pat on the back for the good things they are doing. Reinforce good behavior and character traits. Instill wisdom when the time feels right.
• Be a resource for success.
o Many times, a person just needs a listening ear to help work through an issue – they may not be seeking advice. Provide resources or ask how they think they can be more successful – let them solve the issue on their own but be a supportive presence.
Take some time to reflect on those people in your life, like my grandpa, who helped boost your self-esteem. What did they do, how did they act and what specifically can you model for others? Spend this week building others’ self-esteem.
